


Holding on and Letting Go

by smcki10



Category: Station 19 (TV)
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-04
Updated: 2020-05-04
Packaged: 2021-03-01 21:34:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,757
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23993842
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smcki10/pseuds/smcki10
Summary: AU what if Robert Sullivan was a single father as well as a widow and what if Andy was part of their world long before he became her Captain (higher ratings for later chapters)
Relationships: Andy Herrera & Robert Sullivan, Andy Herrera/Robert Sullivan, Victoria Hughes/Lucas Ripley
Comments: 2
Kudos: 24





	1. Chapter 1

A/N: Here’s my brand new AU fic! Thank you to Ptiplouf for all her help, you’re amazing. I don’t know many people who would let me message them at all hours with ideas! Also thank you to every women in The Surrera Sanctuary. Being in that group and talking daily has helped so much with developing my stories and being a better writer and person! Here’s chapter 1!

  
Emerson Sullivan followed her dad into his new firehouse. They had been back in Seattle for a month, but this was the first time she had been in Station 19, and it wasn’t for a good reason. 

“Captain’s office. Now!” her dad said as he walked further into the firehouse. A few minutes later she looked up as the office door opened. She was only mildly surprised to see Andy Herrera entering the office, closing the door behind her. 

“Really, Bug? Suspended already?” Andy asked approaching her. She had known Andy her whole life. Andy had been her babysitter for a long time and was now a firefighter under her dad. 

“I hate school Dede.” 

“You have to go to school Bug. You can’t get in a fight just to get suspended.”

“I was so excited to come home, but I didn’t think it would be this hard.” Emerson said with tears in her eyes. Andy wrapped her in her arms. 

“It’ll be okay Emery I promise. I know exactly how you feel, like nothing is ever going to be okay again, but I promise you it will. I’m running the front desk today, so you are going to help me. Bring your backpack with you and we’ll start on your schoolwork.” Andy said. 

“Okay,” Emerson said grabbing her bag and heading for the front desk, passing her dad on the way. 

“She’s struggling Robert. I know it doesn’t make the fighting okay, but I think she just feels lost. We both know how that feels.” Andy said as Robert came to stand in front of her. 

“I just wish I knew how to help her.” 

“We’ll figure it out. You’re not alone anymore, Robert.” Andy said laying her hand on his arm before exiting the office. She made her way to the front desk and found Emerson already there with her books open. Andy sat down at the computer and started working on her reports. They had both been working on their projects for about an hour when they heard the doors open and saw chief Ripley coming in with some other people, going straight to Sullivan’s office. 

“Why didn’t uncle Rip say hi?” Emerson asked. 

“It looks to be official Bug. I’m sure he’ll say something on the way out.” Andy didn’t have the heart to tell Emerson that her beloved uncle and dad barely spoke these days. A little while later, Andy saw the people who had been with Ripley leave. She could now hear raised voices coming from Sullivan’s office. 

“C’mon let’s go find some food.” Andy said leading Emerson to the beanery where most of the team was. 

“Hey everyone, this is my friend Emerson. She’s going to hang with us most of our shift.” Andy said opening the fridge and finding drinks for her and Emerson. They sat down at the table and waited for Travis to finish cooking. 

“So, Emerson how old are you?” Maya asked 

“12” 

“What school do you go to?” Travis asked. Andy glanced at the doorway and noticed Robert motioning to her. 

“How as she been?” Robert asked. 

“Pretty good, doing her homework, being normal Emerson.”

“Thank you for trading with Vic and staying here today.”

“Your welcome” she said quietly. 

“Would you be able to watch her for me while I run to the meeting with Luke?” 

“Yeah I got her. You okay going with Luke?” 

“We’re working through it.” 

“Very loudly,” Andy said with a smirk. 

“Brat.” He said with his own smirk. 

“Her school sent over her work for tomorrow. It’s on my desk if she finishes what she had for today.” 

“Okay. Go to your meeting, we’re fine,” she said shoving him lightly to get him moving. She made her way back into the beanery where the group was now playing a board game with Emery. Andy smiled at Emerson getting to be what she still was: a kid, something her mother’s death had robbed from her. She joined them back at the table and listened at the team asking Emerson questions, trying to figure out who she was. Emery being her father’s daughter would give them info but leaving out enough that she was confusing them. 

“So, Emerson how long have you and your parents been here in Seattle?” 

“Me and my dad just moved back a few months ago. Dede and abuelo help out, that way me and dad don’t drive each other crazy.” Emery said as they finished the board game they were playing. Just then, the bells went off, leaving Andy and Emery alone. They sat at the table for another hour. 

“C’mon Bug, let’s go find you a place to sleep for the night,” Andy said as they started walking to the bunks. 

“Am I staying in dad’s bunk?” Emerson asked wrinkling her nose. 

“Well you could, but see since I’m a lieutenant now, I get my own quarters, so I thought maybe you wanna stay with me tonight?”

“Yes please!” Emerson said as Andy opened her door. 

“I’ll be right back. I’m going to grab the extra homework your dad printed off and also see if he brought your bag. If not, we’ll get abuelo to bring it over okay?” 

“Okay” Emery said as Andy exited her bunk and headed for Sullivan’s office, using the key she had been given the day he joined as captain. She went to his bunk first and turned the light on. She smiled at the pink and purple SFD comforter. She picked it up and sat it on the bed then she looked around but didn’t see the matching duffel bag. As she was searching, her gaze stopped on the shelves looking at the 4 photos that sat there. One of them was a photo of Robert, his wife, Claire who had passed away and Emerson when she was a baby. The next photo brought her sadness but also happiness. It was one of Andy, Claire and Emerson, and it was the last photo Claire would ever take. Andy picked it up and stared at it. She was so lost in it that she didn’t hear the office door open and close. 

“That is still one of my favorite photos. It has all my girls in it.” She heard Sullivan say behind her. 

“Jesus Robert! Wear a bell or something!” Andy said placing the photo back down. She felt Robert come up behind her and wrap his arms around her. Andy tried to pull away, but Robert kept his arms tight around her. 

“You know what Rip said to me on the ride back? Claire would want me, you and Emery to be happy, and it would be a bonus if we were happy together. I’m not pushing you. I promised I would give you space… Well as much space as I can with me being your captain and all.” Sullivan said quietly as Andy stared at the last two photos. One was Emerson’s school photo and the last photo was a ‘family’ photo from Christmas. It was of her, Robert, Emerson and Andy’s dad, Pruitt. Her and her dad had made it a tradition to fly to Montana and spend time with Robert and Emerson every Christmas. 

“After Ryan passed, Claire became my best Friend. I feel like I am doing her wrong because somewhere along the way, I fell in love with her husband.” Andy said quietly, causing Robert to turn her around. 

“Do you know why I accepted the job here?” He asked leaning his forehead against hers. 

“You were ready to come home.” 

“I was ready to come home to you.” He said as she pushed away from him. 

“I need to go get Emerson installed. Do you have her bag?” 

“Here,” Robert said handing it to her. She quickly grabbed it, as well as the comforter and the homework on the desk, and left the office since she did not trust herself with him. It wasn’t till she had made it to her quarters, gave Emerson her stuff and watched her going to take a shower, that she noticed an envelope on the homework with the name ‘Thing 2’ in a handwriting she hadn’t seen in years: Claire’s. 

She closed her eyes and fought the tears before she opened the envelope. She sat down on her bed and pulled the paper out. 

Dear Andy.....


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The letter and the future

Dear Andy, 

If you are reading this it means I have been gone for 2 years now. Robert called me morbid when I told him I wanted to leave letters just in case, but then I asked him what would he give to have one last message from his parents, or what you would give to have one more message from your mother and he said anything. So, he left me alone. I never told him I was writing a letter to you. He doesn’t realize that I know the truth, that you Andrea Herrera are his one true love. I’ve thought about it a lot, about how that one summer changed everything. If your dad hadn’t dragged you to Mexicali that summer, I have no doubt you would be Mrs.Sullivan, not me. I felt so guilty that July 4th, we had the perfect summer planned then your dad up and sprung that trip on you and, before I knew it, I was in love with Robert. I had done the one thing I promised I would never do. I took someone from you, or I thought I did. That August when you came home, I remember your dad taking us to one of the fire buildings. Him and Robert went to do something so, of course, I chose then to tell you. The look on your face when I told you… That was the moment I realized it wasn’t just love you felt for him, it was a soulmate type love. It wasn’t till a year later that I fully understood it all. I don’t know if you remember but it was right after Robert lost his parents. I had tried so hard to get through to him, but then I heard the two of you on the deck. I realized that the two of you had such a strong bond… But I was selfish, instead of stepping out of the way I married him. But you, Andy Herrera, you forgave me. It’s something I don’t think I could ever do. If you’re reading this, it means I’ve left my husband and daughter behind, and I’ve left you, my best friend, behind. At 5, I never thought the rough and tumble girl I met when her and her family moved in next door would become my closest friends, the thing 2 to my thing 1, as Robert always called us. Then we added that pissed off 15-year-old to our band of misfits, and we never really looked back, did we? I hope you don’t let the sadness win. Just remember me and all of the fun we’ve had, the memories we made and the life we lived. When enough time has passed, you and Robert should move on together. I couldn’t think of a better person to be Robert’s wife and Emerson’s stepmother than the one person who has been right there every step of the way. Robert will push you away but just love him, no matter how angry he makes you. Be that stubborn Andy I’ve had my whole life, and as for my sweet Emerson I couldn’t think of a better mother for her than my best friend. One last thing Andy, don’t be guilty or afraid of loving him. I had an amazing life Andrea now it’s your turn. 

I’ll always love you,  
Claire   
Thing 1

Andy finished reading and only realized she was crying when a tear dropped on the page and blurred the ‘E’ in Claire’s name. She heard footsteps coming so she quickly shoved the letter into the fire safety book by her bed and cleaned the tears on her face before Emery came bouncing into the room. 

“Wanna watch a movie?” Andy asked her.

“Yes!” They curled up in the bed and turned a movie on. They both fell asleep, but Andy woke up hours later to the alarm for the aid car. That is when she noticed that Emery was missing. She quickly looked for her in a couple places till she thought of the one place she knew she would be: the roof. 

“Hey bug? What’s wrong?” Andy asked sitting down beside her. 

“I couldn’t sleep so I came up here to think.” 

“What are you thinking about?” Andy asked wrapping the young girl in a hug. 

“Mom, part of what cause the issues at school was we were supposed to do these papers about what our parents do for jobs.” Emery said quietly. 

“Did you ask the teacher if you could just do it on your dad?” 

“Yes, she said no. So, I got into the fight to avoid the paper, but I still have to do the paper. I hate it Dede, I hate that she’s gone, and I hate how alone I feel and how sad dad still is!” Emery said crying as Andy pulled her close, holding the young girl as she cried. About 30 minutes after Emery cried herself to sleep, Andy heard the door click open and close then felt a blanket being draped around their shoulders. She didn’t have to look up to know it was Robert. 

“I’ll go put her in bed and be right back;” he whispered picking Emerson up. He came back to the roof a few minutes later and sat down behind Andy, wrapping his arms around her as she curled into his arms.

“What happened?” he asked quietly.

“Apparently, the main reason she got into the fight was because they had to write papers about both parents’ jobs. Bug said she asked if she could just do it on your job, but was told no. Does the teacher not know the situation?” Andy asked 

“She does, but she doesn’t care. I’ve been thinking about trying to find her a new school or distance learning or something.” He said. 

“If you did distance learning, there would always be someone here to watch her when my dad won’t be able to, plus dad’s friend is still the chief.” 

“I said I was thinking about it, Andy, not a done deal.” He said with a smirk as she turned in his arms to face him. 

“I think it’s the best option for her. I’ll help too.” She said has he started tracing the tattoo on her wrist, the same one he had on his shoulder, the one they had gotten with Claire when the girls had turned 18. It was the letters A, R, &C in a circle with the outline of Seattle in the middle of it. 

“I’ll call the school tomorrow. Um…Did you read the letter?” He asked quietly. 

“I did. Did you ever read it?” 

“Not yours, I had one too. It’s actually why I chose to come home. If I’m honest Andy, I ran when Claire died because I was afraid.” He said trailing off and looking away. 

“Afraid of what Robert?” Andy asked putting her hand on his cheek, pushing his face to look at her. 

“I was afraid of loving you, and then screwing it up. I couldn’t think about what would happen if I lost you too. I’ve two women my whole life, Claire and you.” Robert said quietly as Andy leaned closer to him. 

“I love you too Robert. I have for most of my life” Andy said as Robert closed the distance and kissed her. They both got lost in the kiss not realizing the door had been pushed open. They only noticed it when they heard it bang shut since it brought them out of the kiss. They both got up and made their way back in. Once inside, they understood who had been watching them since, on the ground, was the broken framed photo of Claire, Andy and Emerson.


End file.
